Windridge Reflections

I posted this quote on Pinterest on Father’s Day: “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” I believe this to be a truism for both daughters and sons—the love and respect two parents have and show for one another creates an emotionally safe space for children to grow up and learn how to love and respect others. As I posted it though, I wondered…alright, how about those parents who are divorced, how do they continue to show love (or at the least) show respect for someone they are no longer married to / partnered with and who they may not have the best relationship with?   Here are a couple thoughts that came to mind: Never, and I mean never, speak negatively of the absent spouse / partner in the presence of your children. Children hear and feel so much more than given credit for. They are like little sponges, and the tear between their love for the two most important people in their lives, who don’t like each other, can be emotionall...

"Never solve a problem from its original perspective" .- Charles Thompson   This week I met a friend for lunch and our conversation quickly turned to an area of commitment that for me of late has felt extremely unbalanced…. And worst of all was the feeling that I was somewhere out in left field with my feelings, out of the loop, and the uncomfortable possibility that I was the only one having these thoughts of disconnect and frustration. As the conversation wove its way through the hour, I began to understand that I am not alone in my frustrations, and my observations were not off target (in other words, I’m not crazy!). The more we talked, the more I started to gain clarity and a renewed sense of balance and perspective as to how I want this commitment to fit into my life… and for those insights, I am thankful. Friends and communication go hand in hand – use them to help you rebalance when needed – it feels good. "Happiness is not a matter of intensity b...

Half way through an intense coaching session this afternoon I had a client say: “I’m sorry this session is all about me. I didn’t mean to set the agenda.” I had to laugh, actually out loud, because my main goal in coaching is to meet my clients where they are at that moment in their work issues or personal challenges. Any agenda I might have had as a coach (think of a bullet pointed list of questions) takes second place to real-time personnel issues, project management complications, employee communication issues, etc. I once heard an executive say: “Coaching provides a safe place for a visible leader to unwind, learn accountability, and implement behavioral change.” I couldn’t agree more. * Also, note to self - client said it was one of the best sessions! **photo credit: istockphoto

I love waking up in the morning, checking my iPhone, and seeing new photos of my grandsons walking to school on a snowy London morning (via Instagram ): …and a blog post about Alpha, who lives in NYC: The Ones 2 Watch To have instant access to all my “people” who live half a world away is simply amazing! I’m so grateful for the technology of our age, and how close those far away can feel. I don’t know what I would have done had I been born 100-plus years ago! And then, a little later, sitting at Starbucks I receive a Face-Time call on my iPhone, and I’m able to enjoy my latte while chatting with “London”— in real time. How cool is that? What are you grateful for at the end of your week?

Love this quote - life is too short to become hung-up on the small things! “Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.” Andre Maurois 1885-1967, Writer

I am a firm believer in ongoing learning. It doesn’t matter if you are securely employed or looking for your next career opportunity, it is always wise to stay relevant in this fast changing world. Lynda Gratton brings forward 10 ways to future proof your career: 1. Don’t be fooled into walking into the future blindfolded – the more you know what’s in store, the better able you will be to meet the challenges and really capitalize on your options. So keep abreast of the forces that are shaping work and careers in your part of the world and think about how they will impact on you and those you care for. Making wise choices will in the end come from your capacity to understand – don’t rely on governments of big business to make the choices for you. 2. Learn to be virtual – we are entering a period of hyper technological advancements – avatars, holographs and telepresence are all just around the corner. If you are a young “digital native” you are already connected to this – but if you...

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my inner circle of both professional and personal influencers and friends and I came across this excellent post by Dan Schawbel. Here is how to break down people who should and shouldn’t be part of your inner circle:    Who should be in your inner circle?     People that you admire and wish to build a mutual relationship with.     People that you see yourself working with, whether at a company, your own company or side projects.     People that you have enough shared interests with so you can easily keep in touch with them, without appearing fake.     People that have complementary strengths.     People who understand the principles of networking and won’t use you and abuse you.     People who are passionate, caring and seek to help others. Who shouldn’t be in your inner circle?     People that have nothing in commo...

“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” William Arthur Ward

Not to start on a negative, but this is one of my pet peeves...people who send condolences or RSVPs, a written invitation or congratulations or any other such personal communications in an e-mail. I mean really, how sincere is it when the receiver knows that this is something you popped off on your iPhone while waiting at the dentist? As Alan Weiss points out in his Balancing Act Newsletter, “Texting ‘I feel 4 U’ is not the same, somehow, as writing four sentences of sympathy and support. We can all afford the ten minutes.” In this day of “instant” everything, have we forgotten how to pick up a pen and a piece of paper? Here’s an easy way to make sure this type of “never have time for” correspondence doesn’t happen to you. Purchase five cards or post cards. Purchase stamps. (These first two steps are honestly the hardest part of this!) Put your favorite music on, settle in and think of five people you love and “never” write because you “never” have the time. Possibly one of your five ...

Two things came to my attention recently that made me pause for a moment and consider my listening skills. One was a quote by Sir Winston Churchill: "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." The other was this Management Tip of the Day from the Harvard Business Review (HBR): For years, leadership experts have been encouraging managers to get better at listening ( see this HBR article from 1957 for evidence ). Good listening isn't just about making the speaker feel respected and heard; it's also about making sure you understand what's truly said. Here are three tips for better listening: Think ahead. Engage in the conversation by thinking ahead and anticipating what the speaker is going to say. Try to see conclusions he will draw; don't just hear the words he's saying. Review. Pause briefly and mentally summarize his points. Listen between the lines. Watch nonverbal cues that could indicate what...

I was looking through my old journals this afternoon trying to find a certain story I wanted to use for a blog post, and instead of the desired story I found this list from May 14, 1993. It’s just as pertinent today as it was back then. Compliment three people every day. Watch the sunrise at least once a year. Be the first to say “Hello.” Live beneath your means. Treat your child like you want to be treated. Never give up on your child. Miracles happen. Forget the Joneses. Never deprive your child of hope. It may be all he has. Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage. Be tough-minded but tenderhearted. Be kinder than necessary. Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Keep your promises. Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don’t feel like it. Remember that overnight success usually takes 15 years. Leave everything better than you found it. Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to. ...

Have you ever sent off an e-mail that you need a quick reply on and then waited, and waited, and waited for a response? Have you ever relayed simple information on an issue and had it totally misinterpreted? Have you ever hastily shot off an e-mail and then noticed spelling or grammar mistakes - after the fact? Here is a timely posting from Michael Hyatt on e-mail etiquette. Every time you communicate, you are making a “brand impression”—for you—and for the organization you represent. What kind of impression are you making? Is it positive or negative? I want to focus for a few moments on email, since for most of us that comprises 90% of our communication today.Here are five ways to make a positive impression with your email messages: Respond in a timely manner. I can’t overstate the importance of this. As I have said elsewhere, to whatever extent I have been successful, it is due in large part to the fact that I am generally been very responsive . My goal is to respond to all emails t...