The Greatest Thing

I posted this quote on Pinterest on Father’s Day: “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” I believe this to be a truism for both daughters and sons—the love and respect two parents have and show for one another creates an emotionally safe space for children to grow up and learn how to love and respect others.

As I posted it though, I wondered…alright, how about those parents who are divorced, how do they continue to show love (or at the least) show respect for someone they are no longer married to / partnered with and who they may not have the best relationship with?

Here are a couple thoughts that came to mind:

Never, and I mean never, speak negatively of the absent spouse / partner in the presence of your children. Children hear and feel so much more than given credit for. They are like little sponges, and the tear between their love for the two most important people in their lives, who don’t like each other, can be emotionally devastating.
Communicate if you can with your ex and if that is impossible, still refrain from trying to turn your child away from them. Typically this will backfire anyway as the child matures and learns that it wasn’t quite as one sided as you might have painted it.
Do not make your child your “best friend” or a replacement for your missing spouse / partner. Try as best you can to let your child’s childhood be simple and safe…let them be a child. If you need friends to talk; seek a support group, church, or other place where you can “vent” your adult issues and get help.

Again, “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter (child) is to love her mother.” And the greatest thing a mother can do for a daughter (child) is to love her father.

I know some of my readers know of fantastic support groups, counselors, etc. - please share!

Image: istockphoto

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