Windridge Reflections

I posted this quote on Pinterest on Father’s Day: “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” I believe this to be a truism for both daughters and sons—the love and respect two parents have and show for one another creates an emotionally safe space for children to grow up and learn how to love and respect others. As I posted it though, I wondered…alright, how about those parents who are divorced, how do they continue to show love (or at the least) show respect for someone they are no longer married to / partnered with and who they may not have the best relationship with?   Here are a couple thoughts that came to mind: Never, and I mean never, speak negatively of the absent spouse / partner in the presence of your children. Children hear and feel so much more than given credit for. They are like little sponges, and the tear between their love for the two most important people in their lives, who don’t like each other, can be emotionall...

Of late, I’ve had the feeling that my mornings or afternoons have been swallowed up. I don’t have a clue about what has been accomplished or completed. I’m not sure whether this is from being too busy or not busy enough, but no matter, I’ve got to get a handle on it! In the past I’ve always turned to paper time sheets etc., but this time I’ve decided to go “cyber” and so I searched for an iPhone app that would track tasks, and more importantly in “real” time. The reason for using an iPhone app versus a web-based system is mobility. During the day, I may go from point A to point B and I don’t want to have to constantly login, logout, go to a different room or computer to enter my data. I want my system to move with me and be quick and fairly easy to learn. What I found was a cool little tool appropriately called the Time Tracker by Nonlinear Ideas, Inc . I originally downloaded the “free” version, but today I upgraded because the pie charts are pretty nice plus it offers more control ...

I remind myself of this every day - "In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet... Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most importantly some will bring out the best in you." ( from Marc and Angel Hack Life - Practical Tips for Productive Living )

“The year rotates through the seasons like a wheel of fortune. Being present in each one, possessing its bounty and taking its inconveniences in stride, means living to the fullest every day of the life you get.” —Victoria Moran Life is lived in seasons, and I am slowly learning to appreciate and live fully in each season. Too much time spent reminiscing about what has passed, or waiting for what is to come is squandered time that doesn’t yield a positive outcome. Can you imagine spending your summer moping around and wishing for winter, or spending the beauty of spring worrying about fall? Granted, brief moments of: “I can’t wait to go skiing” or “The beach next summer is going to be wonderful,” are normal but living in a season one isn’t in at the expense of where you are is a sad waste of time. Honestly, each season has its golden moments, and I’m learning to notice those moments as well as enjoy them. This concept is always brought home to me after I spend time with family. Ou...

I admit that the task of setting personal (behavioral) goals or benchmarks can be a bit daunting. I mean, why can’t people just love and appreciate us the way we are? But for your personal and professional health, identifying behaviors and setting attainable goals is life changing. Identifying current behaviors sets a starting point from where to chart your forward progress. Without identifying current behaviors one is left in the dark about what I like to think of as, “Behavioral improvement opportunities.” This lack of insight makes it easy to fall into the bottomless pit of repeated poor behavior and discouragement. “This is the way I’ve always been and the way I will always be” thinking can cause you to dismiss how your behaviors are affecting your outcomes. Professionally and personally even a slight positive shift in behavior can bring enormous personal satisfaction and professional momentum. It can be really difficult to know where to begin, what to do, what needs to be modif...

Love this quote - life is too short to become hung-up on the small things! “Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.” Andre Maurois 1885-1967, Writer

"Each of us is unique...      Each of us is important... Each of us brings to the world a specific treasure box of talents and gifts that we are charged with bringing to fruition." Julia Cameron What talents and gifts you are focusing on in 2011? For help: Learn From the Past and Move Into the Future .

Chronologically we’re at the end of the year but the beginning of the journey. Sarah Ban Breathnach One of my favorite weeks of the year is this week between Christmas and the New Year. For some reason it seems the perfect time to take a “time out” to pause and reflect. I’m spending this week thinking about the past year, successes and challenges, and then shifting my focus to the coming year and identifying what my theme for the New Year will be. Then on January 1st I will sit in quiet reflection and record all of my thoughts..... Perfect! If you don’t start, You won’t arrive… Anonymous Use the questions below to map your course for 2011 2010 For the past year what was your overall theme? What were your three biggest wins personally? What were your three biggest wins professionally? What were the three top lessons you learned? What was the one personal quality that you developed in 2010? List the ways this quality helped you both personally and professionally. 2011 Lo...

“' A' earned his angel wings at 12:56 a.m. Fly high sweet boy…mommy will love you forever.” Today I read these words and they set me remembering my brief volunteer time with little A , rocking him while he fell asleep in my arms. I was at Children’s Hospital Seattle as a part of a Side by Side support team to his parents. Our goal was to help provide some normalcy in their lives during A’ s boring and sometimes terrifying hospital treatments. Looking back, it was actually a year ago this month. I remember one of the things the family wanted to do was take their other small children out to the pumpkin patch to pick out Halloween pumpkins. What they really needed was the comfort of knowing that someone was with their little A while they were away from the hospital. The nurses at Children's Hospital are excellent, but must divide their time among several patients, therefore, having volunteers who will come and support families with children going through treatmen...

Below is a short story to encourage you to identify and understand what you are doing day in and day out and why it matters. A manager wanted to see how his workers felt about their jobs. He went to his building site to take an informal poll. He approached the first worker and asked, “What are you doing?” “What are you blind?” the worker snapped back. “I’m cutting these boulders with primitive tools and putting them together the way to boss tells me. I’m sweating under this blazing sun, it’s backbreaking work, and it’s boring me to death.” The executive quickly backed off and went looking for another worker. “What are you doing?” he asked, “I’m shaping these boulders into different forms, which are then assembled according to the architect’s plan. It’s hard work and it sometimes gets repetitive, but I earn a good wage and that supports my family. It’s a job. Could be worse.” Somewhat discouraged, he went to a third worker. “What are you doing?” he asked, “Why can’t you see?” beamed t...

The Wish List is a writing exercise I picked up from Julia Cameron in her book Walking in This World . Cameron is an “artist’s writer” offering insights and encouragement for those who find their life’s work in artistic pursuits and endeavors. My thoughts are that all of us, no matter what industry or “lifestyle” we find ourselves in, are tied to artistic and creative endeavors. And that the greatest pursuit of all is creating our life! The following simple little exercise is one I use when I’m feeling a bit stuck on who I am, where I want to go and what the next steps may be. Number a blank sheet from 1 to 20. Writing (quickly) finish the phrase: “I wish” 20 times. Your wishes can range from the big things that you find difficult to wrap your mind around or the very small (almost imperceptible) things that are sometimes passed off in pursuit of bigger things. There is no right or wrong wish! What you will notice, once you have completed your list, is that there are several small, ye...

Fog can distort and hide the most familiar and obvious. When our vision is clouded and we can't make out which way to turn, we must rely on our heart's anchor….. When it's all been said and done There is just one thing that matters Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you? When it's all been said and done All my treasures will mean nothing Only what I have done For love's rewards Will stand the test of time (* Jim Cowan) Trust that the sky will clear and once again your vision will become clear…. (photos taken on my morning walk - via iPhone and Cannon Elph)

I’m currently re-reading (actually skimming) the book The Procrastinator’s Handbook – Mastering the Art of Doing It Now by Rita Emmett . It’s not a book I have ever read straight through, but it’s one that I pick up from time to time and use as a refresher whenever I feel like I’m beginning to be pulled away from what matters most to me. Life can sometimes feel like a constant balancing act of fulfilling opportunities — or dare I say: “I want you to like me” moments — that compete for my time. When this happens I find it healthy to stop for a moment and ask myself, how much can I really take on, enjoy and handle well? Here’s a pop quiz from the book to help evaluate the tendency to over commit: Do I put off things important to my life because other people’s priorities always come first? YES / NO Do I commit to so many things that there’s not enough time to do any of them and I always feel overwhelmed? YES / NO Do I think I don’t need to do all the things others need to do to manage th...

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the one who will win." Roger Bannister (British athlete, first person in the world to run a mile in under 4 minutes) At my oldest daughter's wedding, the Pastor spoke of starting power and staying power . • Starting power is the newness, the excitement, the hopes, the anticipation of what is to come. • Staying power is the continual effort, the realization that relationships unfold over time and require diligent care and commitment to succeed. Are you in need of starting power or staying power ? At present I'm learning about staying power —"once the effort gets painful"—and as a former runner I know if I endure, I will reach my goal and claim the prize!

"One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go." — Sheila Murray Bethel Self-awareness is the first step in personal and professional success. The following questions are taken from one of Windridge's earlier newsletters (2008). These questions are great for those moments of stuckness we all find ourselves in from time to time. Ask yourself: Where Am I? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What are my possibilities? In what areas do I do my best work? What are my preferences, values and priorities? Where Do I Want to Go? What do I want to change? What do I want to keep the same? What do I want to have happen? In what time frame? What Sacrifices are Required? What special efforts or changes may be needed? What am I willing to let go of in order to achieve my goals? What conditions, beliefs or actions no longer serve me? Personal Development Process Create...

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my inner circle of both professional and personal influencers and friends and I came across this excellent post by Dan Schawbel. Here is how to break down people who should and shouldn’t be part of your inner circle:    Who should be in your inner circle?     People that you admire and wish to build a mutual relationship with.     People that you see yourself working with, whether at a company, your own company or side projects.     People that you have enough shared interests with so you can easily keep in touch with them, without appearing fake.     People that have complementary strengths.     People who understand the principles of networking and won’t use you and abuse you.     People who are passionate, caring and seek to help others. Who shouldn’t be in your inner circle?     People that have nothing in commo...

“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” William Arthur Ward

Not to start on a negative, but this is one of my pet peeves...people who send condolences or RSVPs, a written invitation or congratulations or any other such personal communications in an e-mail. I mean really, how sincere is it when the receiver knows that this is something you popped off on your iPhone while waiting at the dentist? As Alan Weiss points out in his Balancing Act Newsletter, “Texting ‘I feel 4 U’ is not the same, somehow, as writing four sentences of sympathy and support. We can all afford the ten minutes.” In this day of “instant” everything, have we forgotten how to pick up a pen and a piece of paper? Here’s an easy way to make sure this type of “never have time for” correspondence doesn’t happen to you. Purchase five cards or post cards. Purchase stamps. (These first two steps are honestly the hardest part of this!) Put your favorite music on, settle in and think of five people you love and “never” write because you “never” have the time. Possibly one of your five ...

This my friends, is a stand alone: "The supreme quality for a leader is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is a section gang, on a football field, in an army, or in an office. If his associates find him guilty of phoniness, if they find that he lacks forthright integrity, he will fail. His teachings and actions must square with each other." “The first great need, therefore, is integrity and high purpose." —Dwight D. Eisenhower

Two things came to my attention recently that made me pause for a moment and consider my listening skills. One was a quote by Sir Winston Churchill: "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." The other was this Management Tip of the Day from the Harvard Business Review (HBR): For years, leadership experts have been encouraging managers to get better at listening ( see this HBR article from 1957 for evidence ). Good listening isn't just about making the speaker feel respected and heard; it's also about making sure you understand what's truly said. Here are three tips for better listening: Think ahead. Engage in the conversation by thinking ahead and anticipating what the speaker is going to say. Try to see conclusions he will draw; don't just hear the words he's saying. Review. Pause briefly and mentally summarize his points. Listen between the lines. Watch nonverbal cues that could indicate what...