Windridge Reflections

I posted this quote on Pinterest on Father’s Day: “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” I believe this to be a truism for both daughters and sons—the love and respect two parents have and show for one another creates an emotionally safe space for children to grow up and learn how to love and respect others. As I posted it though, I wondered…alright, how about those parents who are divorced, how do they continue to show love (or at the least) show respect for someone they are no longer married to / partnered with and who they may not have the best relationship with?   Here are a couple thoughts that came to mind: Never, and I mean never, speak negatively of the absent spouse / partner in the presence of your children. Children hear and feel so much more than given credit for. They are like little sponges, and the tear between their love for the two most important people in their lives, who don’t like each other, can be emotionall...

What Happens When Life Zigs…and You Zag? What do you do when you have “one of those days?” You know the kind, we all have them. You feel yucky, drained, with no motivation and all your prior enthusiasm, brilliant ideas, etc., have vanished into thin air and you are reduced to hoping you can put one foot in front of the other until it’s time to go to bed. And then the prayer is that blessed sleep will provide a reprieve from the constant feelings of failure and opportunities lost or wasted away. I recently had “one of those days.” What I’ve learned over time is when they hit, if I step back and do as little as I possible, you know get the main things done, but don’t take on the big things, I will come out of the “funk” much quicker. I liken it to falling off a horse; if you roll with the fall (downward spiral) instead of fighting or bracing yourself against it, you’ll hit the ground with less force and thus be able to pick yourself up more quickly—as in tomorrow. Her...

Knowing what to do is not the same as doing it. You can have all the intent and knowledge in the world, but until you put that intent and knowledge into action it really does you no good. I read once that “The world is full of broke geniuses,” you know, the folks who “know it all,” but never link action to their wonderful ideas or dreams. To keep yourself from falling too deeply into this trap, start the practice of spending time each week identifying and reviewing what your next steps around your desired outcomes will be. Here is what it looks like: Identify a short term goal – personal and / or professional. This can be a behavior / habit you want to modify, a project that needs to be completed, etc. For each goal, address three areas: 1. Goal – The difference between where you are currently and where you want / need to be. What will this look like when you have arrived? 2. Theme – What are your main objectives along the way? What are the obstacles? Wh...

I am a firm believer in ongoing learning. It doesn’t matter if you are securely employed or looking for your next career opportunity, it is always wise to stay relevant in this fast changing world. Lynda Gratton brings forward 10 ways to future proof your career: 1. Don’t be fooled into walking into the future blindfolded – the more you know what’s in store, the better able you will be to meet the challenges and really capitalize on your options. So keep abreast of the forces that are shaping work and careers in your part of the world and think about how they will impact on you and those you care for. Making wise choices will in the end come from your capacity to understand – don’t rely on governments of big business to make the choices for you. 2. Learn to be virtual – we are entering a period of hyper technological advancements – avatars, holographs and telepresence are all just around the corner. If you are a young “digital native” you are already connected to this – but if you...

Chronologically we’re at the end of the year but the beginning of the journey. Sarah Ban Breathnach One of my favorite weeks of the year is this week between Christmas and the New Year. For some reason it seems the perfect time to take a “time out” to pause and reflect. I’m spending this week thinking about the past year, successes and challenges, and then shifting my focus to the coming year and identifying what my theme for the New Year will be. Then on January 1st I will sit in quiet reflection and record all of my thoughts..... Perfect! If you don’t start, You won’t arrive… Anonymous Use the questions below to map your course for 2011 2010 For the past year what was your overall theme? What were your three biggest wins personally? What were your three biggest wins professionally? What were the three top lessons you learned? What was the one personal quality that you developed in 2010? List the ways this quality helped you both personally and professionally. 2011 Lo...

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the one who will win." Roger Bannister (British athlete, first person in the world to run a mile in under 4 minutes) At my oldest daughter's wedding, the Pastor spoke of starting power and staying power . • Starting power is the newness, the excitement, the hopes, the anticipation of what is to come. • Staying power is the continual effort, the realization that relationships unfold over time and require diligent care and commitment to succeed. Are you in need of starting power or staying power ? At present I'm learning about staying power —"once the effort gets painful"—and as a former runner I know if I endure, I will reach my goal and claim the prize!

It can be difficult to remain focused when we are bombarded daily by good – bad news, our hopes – fears, positive – negative feelings and so on. How do you maintain your focus? How do you not get pulled this way or that due to the emotion of the moment? First, focus by setting measurable and attainable “end goals.” Do some personal development work to discover / uncover who you are, your strengths and what you want your life to be about. After you have an idea of who you are and where you are heading the next challenge will be in developing the ability to shift the seemingly unrelated or even distracting events of this world into positive outcomes that move you toward your identified goals. And remember, there will be times when you cannot shift the unsettling event, but must learn to sift through the situation and take the good, glean any “learning” you can extract and then let the rest fall to the sand below to be washed away by the sea of time. Ask yourself these questions: What do ...

The practice of identifying two or three words to act as a mental "anchor" is a wonderful practice, and I encourage everyone to try it. Today I received this note from a friend... I have had the words “ Effortless Mastery ” as a mental focus the last four years and I am getting there more often every month. What I mean with it is something like Presence, Flow, Authenticity and Connectedness . It seems to be paying off. So I am less often thinking about if I do a good job or not (evaluating my contribution) and think more about what needs to happen here now? The difference might seem small – but I don’t think it is. Kaj Török Here is a little exercise that I usually send out at the first of every year... but I'll add it here a little early.... Enjoy! Looking forward, what do you want your overall theme to be? Choose two words that will anchor you to your theme. List the ways that this quality will help you move forward both personally and professionally. Effortless Ma...

As fall begins what a great time to reevaluate your overall strategic "plan" and reflect on some of the lessons learned through the past nine months.... As the Economy Improves: Analyze some things you’re doing without to see if you really need them, even in better times. Start to treat yourself more. That’s a high priority. Learn the lesson, and assume this will happen again some time. How can you prepare better in good times? (Our economy has always had recessions, and every single one has ended. I’m fearless in that assessment.) In your business, focus on those segments which have stayed strong and also those with the greatest “catapult” effect for rapid growth. There are big expenditure periods arriving: year-end holidays, next semester school payments, taxes, and so on. Create an intelligent, managed plan to deal with them now. When you’re able, no matter how modest, resume or increase charitable giving. You’ll feel better, and it’s desperately needed (ev...

Changing one's behavior is not easy, and it is not instant. You must start thinking now about what you can do differently today that will get you where you want to be at 80.... Life is a journey - not a destination. Stages of Personal Change: Unconscious Incompetent "I am unaware that I don't do this well" (blind spot) Conscious Incompetent "I know that I don't do this well" (self-awareness of the need to change) Conscious Competent "I do this well only when I think about it" (transition from awareness to action by modeling others who do this well) Unconscious Competent "I do this well all the time " (permanent personality change -- high performance by reflex) Start now!