Windridge Reflections

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch heaven.” -   - Johannes A. Gaertner

Perfect for this day... "I cherish my freedom to act, think, feel, and choose as I wish. I celebrate the choice which lies before me in every moment.... I accept the responsibility which comes with freedom. I embrace my liberty and use it to create an abundant and meaningful life." Julie Cameron On this Veterans Day - thank you to all those who sacrifice so much to make continuing freedom possible!

I love this.... "A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." Chinese Proverb "The song of life is born in every soul. But the song we are meant to sing does not come to us whole. It grows in us - louder, stronger, clearer, more fully - over the years until we discover, finally, that our call has been within us all the while. Learning to hear the song within us, finding the call within us, and then bending our lives to follow it to the fullness of ourselves is the key to happiness, to meaning, to fullness of life." Joan Chittister * taken from the book Following the Path by Joan Chittister

Within the next few of days, even if only for only a moment...

"Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance. Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us. Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy. The root of joy is gratefulness. We tend to misunderstand the link between joy and gratefulness. We notice that joyful people are grateful and suppose that they are grateful for their joy. But the reverse is true: their joy springs from gratefulness. If one has all the good luck in the world, but takes it for granted, it will not give one joy. Yet even bad luck will give joy to those who manage to be grateful for it. We hold the key to lasting happiness in our own hands. For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful." From Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer by Brother David Steindl-Rast. Thanks to Brené Brown, Ph.D. for originally posting this on her Ordinary Courage blog.   Image: istockphoto

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.” — Terri St. Cloud Sometimes we can’t go back; the die is cast, the deed is done…but that does not mean that we can’t move forward with grace and confidence. We all make mistakes, we all say things we shouldn’t, do things we are embarrassed by, and have days when “some of the details are not pretty.” Thank goodness we are not frozen here in time, there is hope! Resilience is the ability to problem solve, connect with others for support and sometimes simply cope, knowing that tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities. “It is the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won’t be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.” — Amanda McBroom Image: istockphoto

“If I could only turn back time to the place we left behind – I’d find you there...”  Happy and sad—bitter and sweet… Birthdays and days of passing—weddings and funerals… Public festivities where extended friends abound—private retreats where only close friends, family or Time spent in solitary reflection, enough to fill one’s soul. This weekend is the anniversary of my mother’s passing 26 (short) years ago. When I think of all the things she’s missed: Her granddaughter’s growing up. Getting to know her two grandsons-in-law. Watching her two great-grandsons’ and one granddaughter's lives expand. Traveling around the world to see them and be a part of their lives. She is also missing: Tea with me and the adult conversations we would now be able to have; when she passed away, I was 32 and in the middle of caring for young children, raising horses and taking care of the farm.  We could now sit, two women, expanding our relationship deeper and farther than ...

How can smart, busy people maintain balance as they put in long hours to achieve their career goals? Is it alright to live for a time unbalanced while pursuing your goals? Here are 7 ways to help maintain balance: Identify your core values, those inner aspects of yourself that mean the most to you. These are the core of who you are; the values that help you identify what you want to be about; your goals and dreams. Share these with your spouse or partner; listen to each other’s dreams, goals, and commitments. Clarify action steps and a plan. Don’t let life just happen. If you do, your most important dreams (and people) will be pushed out of the way by the “tyranny of the urgent.” Make choices: What can be adjusted and what is non-negotiable? Communicate: Be honest with yourself, and those you love. Learn to communicate with the significant people in your life, this means the people at work also, so that they can understand your challenges. No one should have to ...

I don’t particularly like networking events because I’m an introvert by nature. I typically feel self-conscious and awkward. So when I read Peter Bregman’s Harvard Business Review post this week, and found out he feels the same way (who would have known?), I could so relate. Here is a wonderful take away for this last Friday in March: “People will trust you if you trust yourself. And to trust yourself you have to step out from behind the curtain. You have to expose yourself, free of titles and status. When you allow people to see you — as impressive and vulnerable as you are — then they will trust you. Because they will know you.” — Peter Bregman Thank you Peter for putting it so well! Image: istockphoto

“The year rotates through the seasons like a wheel of fortune. Being present to each one, possessing its bounty and taking its inconveniences in stride, means living to the fullest every day of the life you get.” Victoria Moran Enjoy! Image: istockphoto

"Never solve a problem from its original perspective" .- Charles Thompson   This week I met a friend for lunch and our conversation quickly turned to an area of commitment that for me of late has felt extremely unbalanced…. And worst of all was the feeling that I was somewhere out in left field with my feelings, out of the loop, and the uncomfortable possibility that I was the only one having these thoughts of disconnect and frustration. As the conversation wove its way through the hour, I began to understand that I am not alone in my frustrations, and my observations were not off target (in other words, I’m not crazy!). The more we talked, the more I started to gain clarity and a renewed sense of balance and perspective as to how I want this commitment to fit into my life… and for those insights, I am thankful. Friends and communication go hand in hand – use them to help you rebalance when needed – it feels good. "Happiness is not a matter of intensity b...

I woke up this morning and the first thought that came to my mind was—friends. This is possibly because I was at a Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara gathering last night and as I visited with fellow Hudson coaches, I realized the importance of connection and friendships in all areas of life. For me this looks like: Old friends —Those tried and true souls who have stood the test of time through many years of life’s transitions and changes. These are the friends I may not see or talk to for years, but because of “history,” when I’m with them, it is as if a day has not passed since we were last together. Close friends —Some of these are “old” friends, some of these are newer friends, some of these are family, but all of these are the people who I feel “safe” with when I share my inner most secrets, hopes, dreams, fears and insecurities. And they love me anyway. Business friends —This category is filled with clients and colleagues. These wonderful people value the relationshi...

"Saying yes is a way to be open to ourselves and others. It is a way to be open to the beauty of nature. It is a way to be open to life’s small gifts – the fuchsia flower blooming in the window, the Jack Russell puppy who tears down the beach after his owner, the fancily hand-decorated cupcakes in the bakery display case.... There are gifts for us at every turn – gifts of beauty, of humor, of love – if we are willing to accept them." Julia Cameron What are you saying “yes” to today?   Taken from Julia's book The Prosperous Heart - Creating a Life of "Enough"   Photo credit: istockphoto

Half way through an intense coaching session this afternoon I had a client say: “I’m sorry this session is all about me. I didn’t mean to set the agenda.” I had to laugh, actually out loud, because my main goal in coaching is to meet my clients where they are at that moment in their work issues or personal challenges. Any agenda I might have had as a coach (think of a bullet pointed list of questions) takes second place to real-time personnel issues, project management complications, employee communication issues, etc. I once heard an executive say: “Coaching provides a safe place for a visible leader to unwind, learn accountability, and implement behavioral change.” I couldn’t agree more. * Also, note to self - client said it was one of the best sessions! **photo credit: istockphoto

“ If you miss the present moment, you miss your appointment with life.” Thich Nhat Hanh (1926 – ) Take pen in hand and list ten things, large or small, you are grateful for today. My list: Good health A warm house My husband - who just brought me a vanilla latte! My two daughters, their wonderful husbands and beautiful children Close friends Etc.... “Each day unfolds as a gift. We build daily on a solid foundation of appreciation. Comparing ourselves to ourselves alone, we track a gentle and steady improvement.” Julia Cameron Photo credit: http://www.istockphoto.com/

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today. William Allen White Every once in a while someone will comment to me on how wonderful my life must be and I have to admit, yes, I love everything I’m doing now, and that said, I appreciate all that has gone before.... Now in saying this, make no mistake, I have had my share of heartaches and I, like everyone else, have a long list of worries, wishes, sorrows, hurts, regrets, aches and pains. Life is what it is and I’m convinced that there is no way around those sometimes nagging worries or real/unreal fears we all experience. I remember years ago going through an incredibly difficult time. For some reason (um–stress) I landed flat-on-my-back in bed for three weeks, and then spent at least two years struggling to even go to the grocery store by myself. This inability to get out and about was irrational, frustrating, and scary as I had absolutely no idea what was “wrong” with me. During th...

Aging is at times emotionally and physically challenging..... On the other hand, I would not trade all that I have now, the people, experiences and maturity, to go back.

I remind myself of this every day - "In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet... Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most importantly some will bring out the best in you." ( from Marc and Angel Hack Life - Practical Tips for Productive Living )

Last month I wrote a "Things I Want" list and one of the identified items was, “I want to have comfortable friends.” Today as I reread last month's thoughts I wondered to myself, so what is a “comfortable” friend and what constitutes a comfortable friendship? Is it the amount of time one spends with a person, is it proximity or identical preferences; what makes this special bond? I decided to take a little bit of my Saturday afternoon and jot down what makes a comfortable friend for me. Attributes of a “comfortable” friend, and thus, a comfortable friendship: We laugh, we cry, we rant, we tell secrets, we hold confidences and we know when to be silent. We listen. We respect each other’s strengths, and encourage each other to overcome our weaknesses. We speak with honesty, seasoned with grace. We forgive when boundaries have been crossed. We stand up for each other when the other person is not present. And at all times we can be ourselves, knowing that we a...