Skip to main content

Anniversaries

Image
By
“If I could only turn back time to the place we left behind – I’d find you there...” 

Happy and sad—bitter and sweet…
Birthdays and days of passing—weddings and funerals…
Public festivities where extended friends abound—private retreats where only close friends, family or Time spent in solitary reflection, enough to fill one’s soul.

This weekend is the anniversary of my mother’s passing 26 (short) years ago. When I think of all the things she’s missed:
  • Her granddaughter’s growing up.
  • Getting to know her two grandsons-in-law.
  • Watching her two great-grandsons’ and one granddaughter's lives expand.
  • Traveling around the world to see them and be a part of their lives.
She is also missing:
  • Tea with me and the adult conversations we would now be able to have; when she passed away, I was 32 and in the middle of caring for young children, raising horses and taking care of the farm. 
  • We could now sit, two women, expanding our relationship deeper and farther than the mother-daughter bond that was already so strong.
Then there are the advances in the world around us that she would have loved:
  • Cell phones and the ability to be anywhere in the world and “reach out and touch someone.”
  • Facebook and Instagram where she could follow her family and stay in contact easily with friends, text messaging and FaceTime.
  • The ability to instantly have a chat with her granddaughters, great-grandsons, great granddaughter or me, no matter the time or the distance.

Photo: Mother, me, Elsie & Alpha -1984

This I know -
She would have done more writing - it was her dream to write…
She would have played more piano - she was an accomplished pianist.

Anniversaries—happy and sad—bitter and sweet.
I miss her....
Labels:

Comments

  1. ElsieWMay 20, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    I love you, Mom. Grandma would be so proud of the wonderful way you raised us. Your grandsons think you are the coolest grandma too. Sending you lots of love today...and always xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindsay ColitsesMay 20, 2012 at 10:47 AM

      Elsie - Grandma would also be so proud of the wonderful women you and Alpha have become... And now, thanks to your two boys, I totally "get" her grandmother's love for the two of you - Love you to infinity and beyond ;) mom

      Delete
  2. Terry McNicholsMay 20, 2012 at 11:08 AM

    This makes me sad on many levels! Sad for your loss, but also sad because my own mother is far away and totally disconnected from the internet and electronics world, barely able to hear on a cell phone, never could get going on a computer, but has always wanted to. She has had the opportunities that your mom missed, but often hasn't taken great advantage of them. And our bond hasn't strengthened over time, unfortunately.
    I've always noticed that dying early does have a few advantages in the legacy one leaves behind. Aging sometimes doesn't bring out the best in people. My father has gotten very crotchety and sometimes that is what my kids and grandkids think he has always been. Those who die young are often remembered at just that stage of their lives, and the memories are often strong and positive!
    I do hope to live a long life and keep up with society so that I can stay connected. And I hope to be the coolest grandma too :-) Still working hard on that one!
    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lindsay ColitsesMay 20, 2012 at 11:57 AM

    You make a good point - when someone dies young, they are forever frozen in our memory at that place.

    It always makes me sad when people have the opportunity of a long life, and they don't appreciate the treasure that is their children, grandchildren, and maybe even great grandchildren. So sad...

    I sure hope I don't ever get grumpy!!!

    p.s. - You're cool ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Terry McNicholsMay 20, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    Gee, thanks! My grandkids think so at this point in time, at least!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Focus on Beauty

By
There will be days when we must force ourselves to focus. There are so many distractions, and it's easy to be pulled this way or that. And as we're pulled, it's easy to get more and more uptight. I've found one way to heighten one's focus throughout the day is to be aware of the sometimes-small details, and the beauty around us. I typically use my early morning walks to make myself look past the obvious and focus on the details. Examples: the morning sun streaming through the window and creating shadows across the room the richness of evening light a clear reflection of a building in a street puddle the colors of the sky, the clouds, etc. a mother walking hand in hand with her child Then in the evening, I write down five of the things that stood out to me during the day. Some days, my list may include more obvious objects of beauty. Other days, the list might include small glimpses of something in passing, sights I may have previously walked right on ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Benefits of Lemon

By
About six months ago, I started a new daily habit - first thing in the morning I drink a cup of warm water with a slice of fresh lemon in it. I'd heard rumors that this was supposed to be good for you, and because I wanted to cut back on my tea with cream and sugar habit, it seemed like a good fit.  I'm kind of amazed to admit, I've noticed a big difference in how I feel. Instead of my normal somewhat sluggish/bloated feeling after my morning cup of tea - I now feel energized and ready to face the day. "Lighter" would probably be a good way to describe it... and lighter is always good! Below is a bit more information... Here are a few reasons for adding morning lemon water to your daily routine. *List originally published by the Edison Institute of Nutrition here   As a rich source of vitamin C, lemon juice protects the body from Immune system deficiencies. Drinking lemon juice with warm water every morning helps in maintaining the pH balance...
Post a Comment
Read more

Friday's Gratitude - Saying Yes

By
"Saying yes is a way to be open to ourselves and others. It is a way to be open to the beauty of nature. It is a way to be open to life’s small gifts – the fuchsia flower blooming in the window, the Jack Russell puppy who tears down the beach after his owner, the fancily hand-decorated cupcakes in the bakery display case.... There are gifts for us at every turn – gifts of beauty, of humor, of love – if we are willing to accept them." Julia Cameron What are you saying “yes” to today?   Taken from Julia's book The Prosperous Heart - Creating a Life of "Enough"   Photo credit: istockphoto
Post a Comment
Read more