Windridge Reflections

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch heaven.” -   - Johannes A. Gaertner

    When the song of the angels is stilled, When the star in the sky is gone, When the kings and princes are home, When the shepherds are back with their flock, The work of Christmas begins ~    To find the lost,  To heal the broken,  To feed the hungry,  To release the prisoner,  To rebuild the nations,  To bring peace among brothers,  To make music in the heart. by Dr. Howard Thurman  

I posted this quote on Pinterest on Father’s Day: “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” I believe this to be a truism for both daughters and sons—the love and respect two parents have and show for one another creates an emotionally safe space for children to grow up and learn how to love and respect others. As I posted it though, I wondered…alright, how about those parents who are divorced, how do they continue to show love (or at the least) show respect for someone they are no longer married to / partnered with and who they may not have the best relationship with?   Here are a couple thoughts that came to mind: Never, and I mean never, speak negatively of the absent spouse / partner in the presence of your children. Children hear and feel so much more than given credit for. They are like little sponges, and the tear between their love for the two most important people in their lives, who don’t like each other, can be emotionall...

A friend and I were talking about depression a few days ago. You know, that draining, gnawing, energy zapping feeling that nothing is going right and you are seemingly powerlessness to change any of your circumstances or mindset. And the most depressing part—you can’t put your finger on “why.” In the course of our conversation, I commented that I have so many things to be grateful for…starting with the smallest, I am breathing after all! Then this morning I ran across this, “If we pull down the shades in every room in a house, that house will be in darkness, and is likely to become damp and unhealthy as well, no matter how brightly the sun may be shining outside.” — Emmet Fox I don’t know about you, but I do not want to live my life in a dark, damp, dusty, musty house. It’s time to pull open the shades, let the sun light warm this house, and find strength in all that is good. There is too much of life out there to be lived! *If you suffer with severe depression, seek profe...

Knowing what to do is not the same as doing it. You can have all the intent and knowledge in the world, but until you put that intent and knowledge into action it really does you no good. I read once that “The world is full of broke geniuses,” you know, the folks who “know it all,” but never link action to their wonderful ideas or dreams. To keep yourself from falling too deeply into this trap, start the practice of spending time each week identifying and reviewing what your next steps around your desired outcomes will be. Here is what it looks like: Identify a short term goal – personal and / or professional. This can be a behavior / habit you want to modify, a project that needs to be completed, etc. For each goal, address three areas: 1. Goal – The difference between where you are currently and where you want / need to be. What will this look like when you have arrived? 2. Theme – What are your main objectives along the way? What are the obstacles? Wh...

Half way through an intense coaching session this afternoon I had a client say: “I’m sorry this session is all about me. I didn’t mean to set the agenda.” I had to laugh, actually out loud, because my main goal in coaching is to meet my clients where they are at that moment in their work issues or personal challenges. Any agenda I might have had as a coach (think of a bullet pointed list of questions) takes second place to real-time personnel issues, project management complications, employee communication issues, etc. I once heard an executive say: “Coaching provides a safe place for a visible leader to unwind, learn accountability, and implement behavioral change.” I couldn’t agree more. * Also, note to self - client said it was one of the best sessions! **photo credit: istockphoto

“The year rotates through the seasons like a wheel of fortune. Being present in each one, possessing its bounty and taking its inconveniences in stride, means living to the fullest every day of the life you get.” —Victoria Moran Life is lived in seasons, and I am slowly learning to appreciate and live fully in each season. Too much time spent reminiscing about what has passed, or waiting for what is to come is squandered time that doesn’t yield a positive outcome. Can you imagine spending your summer moping around and wishing for winter, or spending the beauty of spring worrying about fall? Granted, brief moments of: “I can’t wait to go skiing” or “The beach next summer is going to be wonderful,” are normal but living in a season one isn’t in at the expense of where you are is a sad waste of time. Honestly, each season has its golden moments, and I’m learning to notice those moments as well as enjoy them. This concept is always brought home to me after I spend time with family. Ou...

I admit that the task of setting personal (behavioral) goals or benchmarks can be a bit daunting. I mean, why can’t people just love and appreciate us the way we are? But for your personal and professional health, identifying behaviors and setting attainable goals is life changing. Identifying current behaviors sets a starting point from where to chart your forward progress. Without identifying current behaviors one is left in the dark about what I like to think of as, “Behavioral improvement opportunities.” This lack of insight makes it easy to fall into the bottomless pit of repeated poor behavior and discouragement. “This is the way I’ve always been and the way I will always be” thinking can cause you to dismiss how your behaviors are affecting your outcomes. Professionally and personally even a slight positive shift in behavior can bring enormous personal satisfaction and professional momentum. It can be really difficult to know where to begin, what to do, what needs to be modif...

I am a firm believer in ongoing learning. It doesn’t matter if you are securely employed or looking for your next career opportunity, it is always wise to stay relevant in this fast changing world. Lynda Gratton brings forward 10 ways to future proof your career: 1. Don’t be fooled into walking into the future blindfolded – the more you know what’s in store, the better able you will be to meet the challenges and really capitalize on your options. So keep abreast of the forces that are shaping work and careers in your part of the world and think about how they will impact on you and those you care for. Making wise choices will in the end come from your capacity to understand – don’t rely on governments of big business to make the choices for you. 2. Learn to be virtual – we are entering a period of hyper technological advancements – avatars, holographs and telepresence are all just around the corner. If you are a young “digital native” you are already connected to this – but if you...

"Each of us is unique...      Each of us is important... Each of us brings to the world a specific treasure box of talents and gifts that we are charged with bringing to fruition." Julia Cameron What talents and gifts you are focusing on in 2011? For help: Learn From the Past and Move Into the Future .

Chronologically we’re at the end of the year but the beginning of the journey. Sarah Ban Breathnach One of my favorite weeks of the year is this week between Christmas and the New Year. For some reason it seems the perfect time to take a “time out” to pause and reflect. I’m spending this week thinking about the past year, successes and challenges, and then shifting my focus to the coming year and identifying what my theme for the New Year will be. Then on January 1st I will sit in quiet reflection and record all of my thoughts..... Perfect! If you don’t start, You won’t arrive… Anonymous Use the questions below to map your course for 2011 2010 For the past year what was your overall theme? What were your three biggest wins personally? What were your three biggest wins professionally? What were the three top lessons you learned? What was the one personal quality that you developed in 2010? List the ways this quality helped you both personally and professionally. 2011 Lo...

The Wish List is a writing exercise I picked up from Julia Cameron in her book Walking in This World . Cameron is an “artist’s writer” offering insights and encouragement for those who find their life’s work in artistic pursuits and endeavors. My thoughts are that all of us, no matter what industry or “lifestyle” we find ourselves in, are tied to artistic and creative endeavors. And that the greatest pursuit of all is creating our life! The following simple little exercise is one I use when I’m feeling a bit stuck on who I am, where I want to go and what the next steps may be. Number a blank sheet from 1 to 20. Writing (quickly) finish the phrase: “I wish” 20 times. Your wishes can range from the big things that you find difficult to wrap your mind around or the very small (almost imperceptible) things that are sometimes passed off in pursuit of bigger things. There is no right or wrong wish! What you will notice, once you have completed your list, is that there are several small, ye...

Fog can distort and hide the most familiar and obvious. When our vision is clouded and we can't make out which way to turn, we must rely on our heart's anchor….. When it's all been said and done There is just one thing that matters Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you? When it's all been said and done All my treasures will mean nothing Only what I have done For love's rewards Will stand the test of time (* Jim Cowan) Trust that the sky will clear and once again your vision will become clear…. (photos taken on my morning walk - via iPhone and Cannon Elph)

"One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go." — Sheila Murray Bethel Self-awareness is the first step in personal and professional success. The following questions are taken from one of Windridge's earlier newsletters (2008). These questions are great for those moments of stuckness we all find ourselves in from time to time. Ask yourself: Where Am I? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What are my possibilities? In what areas do I do my best work? What are my preferences, values and priorities? Where Do I Want to Go? What do I want to change? What do I want to keep the same? What do I want to have happen? In what time frame? What Sacrifices are Required? What special efforts or changes may be needed? What am I willing to let go of in order to achieve my goals? What conditions, beliefs or actions no longer serve me? Personal Development Process Create...

Peter Bregman starts out with “ An 18-Minute Plan for Managing Your Day ” post like this: “Yesterday started with the best of intentions. I walked into my office in the morning with a vague sense of what I wanted to accomplish. Then I sat down, turned on my computer and checked my e-mail. Two hours later, after fighting several fires, solving other people's problems and dealing with whatever happened to be thrown at me through my computer and phone, I could hardly remember what I had set out to accomplish when I first turned on my computer.” I can relate too well to this as many of my days seem to silently and swiftly become pulled off my intended course. Sometimes it’s simply amazing to me where the time goes without me being aware of its passing or cognizant of what was accomplished! To help us all stay on course, here are Bregman’s three steps for keeping focus throughout the day. Step 1 (5 minutes) Set Plan for Day. Before turning on your computer , sit down with a blank piece...

"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." -- Confucius * Photo – moonset LWC *** this photo is not photoshopped.

It can be difficult to remain focused when we are bombarded daily by good – bad news, our hopes – fears, positive – negative feelings and so on. How do you maintain your focus? How do you not get pulled this way or that due to the emotion of the moment? First, focus by setting measurable and attainable “end goals.” Do some personal development work to discover / uncover who you are, your strengths and what you want your life to be about. After you have an idea of who you are and where you are heading the next challenge will be in developing the ability to shift the seemingly unrelated or even distracting events of this world into positive outcomes that move you toward your identified goals. And remember, there will be times when you cannot shift the unsettling event, but must learn to sift through the situation and take the good, glean any “learning” you can extract and then let the rest fall to the sand below to be washed away by the sea of time. Ask yourself these questions: What do ...

The practice of identifying two or three words to act as a mental "anchor" is a wonderful practice, and I encourage everyone to try it. Today I received this note from a friend... I have had the words “ Effortless Mastery ” as a mental focus the last four years and I am getting there more often every month. What I mean with it is something like Presence, Flow, Authenticity and Connectedness . It seems to be paying off. So I am less often thinking about if I do a good job or not (evaluating my contribution) and think more about what needs to happen here now? The difference might seem small – but I don’t think it is. Kaj Török Here is a little exercise that I usually send out at the first of every year... but I'll add it here a little early.... Enjoy! Looking forward, what do you want your overall theme to be? Choose two words that will anchor you to your theme. List the ways that this quality will help you move forward both personally and professionally. Effortless Ma...

"Every day poise is acquired or lost before we leave our homes." Sarah Ban Breathnach From time to time all of us suffer from stress - below are suggestions for coping; Cultivate gratitude. Set aside an hour a day for solitude. (I have mine first thing in the morning) Begin your day with prayer, meditation or quiet reflection; and end it the same way. Keep it simple. Don't over-schedule - learn to say "no". Always carry with you something interesting to read. Move - walk, run, dance; use your body! Eat only when hungry. Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal. Laugh! Don't answer the telephone, iPhone, Blackberry during dinner - and NO texting! Avoid negative people. Nurture friendships. Change your perspective: Problems = Challenges to overcome. Savor beauty. Cherish your dreams. Express love everyday. Breathe -

"Autumn to winter, winter to spring, Spring into summer, summer into fall - So rolls the changing year, and so we change; Motion so swift, we know not that we move..." Dinah Mulock Craik September already... where did the summer go? In two weeks I leave for London... and when I return we will be fully enveloped in autumn. There is a distinct change in the air and so begins the season of morning frosts, early morning fires in the fireplace, thick sweaters, Pumpkin Spice Lattes (which have already arrived at Starbucks!) and a reflective thoughtfulness. This is the season I ask myself "What do I want more or less of in my life so that I can love the life I'm leading?" My answers: I want calmness and an inner strength; a deep assurance within of who I am and where I am going. I want confidence to be myself.... my best self. I want less fear, less distrust, less comparing myself to others... More joy in the moment. I want a quick mind and a solidness in the work I do...